It is usual to go through thin and thin in life. You thought life would be difficult being a parent, but you must never have imagined that life would be even tougher being a step parent. Some months ago, your spouse would have looked for a divorce attorney or a divorce lawyer to finalize his/her dissolving marriage. After that, you had to step into the family. If there were no children in the house, things would have been simpler, but this might not be your present situation. So, to get over with the wicked step parent myth, what do you need to do?
Before you plan to marry your spouse, there are a few things about the kids that you should discuss with him/her. Put your expectations forward and get to know the children beforehand. Talk about how they will address you, and the respect that they must show you. Once you solve all these matters before taking your marriage vows, you will accomplish the first step of being a good step parent.
It is better to realize the fact that not many children are welcoming to a step parent. Often, they might be jealous of you because you substituted their biological parent. At other times, they would hate you thinking that they are neglected, and you and your spouse have no concern with them. The key is to keep patient. The children are young to handle so much of fluctuations in their life. Never be harsh and be tolerant as far as possible.
Respect comes first. To teach them respect, you must not only stress upon teaching them how to respect you. However, begin with your spouse. Tell them how often he/she talks about them, how considerate he/she is about them, and how much he/she is blessed to have them. Many children might not even talk to you because they might think you replaced their lost parent. To correct this attitude, stay calm and politely tell them this is not your intention at all. You are there to take care of them and rekindle the family again.
If the children are headstrong no matter how hard you try, talk to your spouse. However, do not lose your temper while you do that. Also, make sure that the kids are not around while you are having a word with your spouse. If they caught you talking to their biological parent about not treating you nicely, they will hate you even more.
Spend time with the children. Take them out for grocery, get them their favorite stuff, take them out for gaming and do all you can. Children are children after all. They cannot hate you all their life. Besides, if you keep doing well to them, they will realize it sooner or later. All you have to do is stay patient till then. You will not achieve the beloved step parent status in a few days. It might take months, or it might also take years, depending on your hard work and your luck. One day, they will surely come up to you for a word of advice on their matters. This is when you will know you have succeeded in your mission. Just be tolerant and calm till then. Good luck!